One of the biggest cultural themes on the entire internet is male and female behavior; especially when it comes to communication and relationships.
There are trained therapists and academics. Coaches. There are the feminists and “Red Pill” influencers. What is missing from the ideas presented is the influence of empires over the past centuries on our behavior today.
The academics and coaches can contain and mitigate negative dynamics somewhat. The more radical influencers usually only make things worse.
The reality of life for men and women in the past
In the era of serfdom, men were forced to perform their tasks day after day. Complaining about the conditions was forbidden and therefore dangerous. In their free time, they were expected to spend hours with their family and otherwise drink alcohol in the tavern with other men and keep conversations very simple.
They were safest if they stuck to this pattern and their own sons were relatively safe too. It was too dangerous to reveal to other men and women what you really thought and felt. How everything seemed like a prison; the frustration, the anger, the despair and the longing for change.
It was just as dangerous for women to express criticism of the power structures and, what’s more, in their private lives they were also subject to men. Women could exchange ideas with each other and use an indirect form of communication with men: you don’t mean what you say literally, everything is only vaguely implied and the man can never really refer specifically to a past statement by a woman because everything was somehow meant differently. Psychological games and even manipulation offered more security and opportunities for women.
These different communication styles have remained to this day. Men want to do their everyday tasks and otherwise enjoy sex, sports, beer and conversations with other men without any depth. Women are frustrated because men are not really willing or able to talk about their personalities, their inner lives. Even when it comes to the inner life of other people, men usually don’t really want to contribute anything.
Women often use the completely wrong term when describing what they want from men. It’s not literally about “vulnerability”. No woman is enthusiastic about weakness in men. Rather, women want men to have the extremely important ability to understand their own personality and those of other people. This ability is extremely useful for men. You constantly have to assess the trustworthiness of other people and know roughly how someone else will react to something.
If a man wants to deceive another man or constantly use him for destructive forms of entertainment, he will act like the stereotypical “buddy”. Like in the taverns of the past centuries he will focus on fun, vapid conversations.
Even a clichéd “alpha male” can be thrown off course at some point by an unexpected stroke of fate. Women therefore want to know as early as possible whether the man has the ability to remain constructive even in difficult situations. There have been many alpha men who were simply used to success and recognition coming their way, and then when they encounter the first major stroke of fate, all they can think of is to drink booze.
When women communicate too strongly in an indirect style, it is annoying and confusing for men today. We need clear words that are also meant objectively. In principle, we also understand hints and more or less subliminal expressions of emotions, but it irritates us when a woman constantly talks in an indirect way.
Everyone has emotions. That’s clear. Dogs have them too. We humans cannot constantly string together words (noises) just to express simple emotions.
When the various empires ended serfdom and tried out new systems such as half and whole republics, communism and fascism, the old communication styles remained largely intact.
Censoring a personality
If you observe teenagers and their parents today, you see a multitude of prohibitions and self-censorship, especially in the normal and slightly upper middle classes. The children are not allowed to be themselves at home. Everything is criticized and forbidden. So the kids practice a kind of empty stereotypical non-personality at home.
The parents themselves monitor other parents and set a kind of code of conduct.
The kids are also monitored by their peers at every step. Misdeeds are punished by exclusion and the spreading of rumors. People live like in the GDR under the Stasi and adopt a stereotypical personality with which they risk as little trouble as possible.
When the kids grow up, they usually fall into the “boring/lifeless” category; otherwise fall into the category of “dysfunctional” or “pathologically malignant”.
And so relationship life is very difficult. People try to hide their boringness, dysfunctionality and malignancy, especially when they are getting to know each other. At some point they show what they really are.
Academic experts then give well-intentioned advice. Ideological influencers spread a dangerous mix of facts, myths and generalizations: A “man of high value” must be handsome and have status and money, they say. A “woman of high value” must be pretty, young and somewhat submissive.
Some influencers preach that we need conditions like they used to be; i.e. arranged marriages or at least no legal possibility of divorce. A man with a job automatically supposedly is entitled to own a woman. The woman is like a kind of household apparatus that has to function.
If women today demand that men are not deadly boring, that they can communicate and understand the human psyche, men are irritated and insulted and reel off angry sentences they have heard on the internet. No, it is not enough to be six foot tall and to go to work on weekdays. Anyone who has nothing more to offer is incapable of having a relationship. Anyone who cannot really communicate is incapable of having a relationship. This also applies to women. Simply having coffee-party conversations, primitively seeking emotional support and indirect statements that are not meant literally are not enough.
Millennia have manipulated us into limited forms of communication and behaviors that prohibit us from forming real relationships.
Sex is of course essential for men. We are constructed in such a way that we simply feel really bad without sex. If we were not constructed in this way, our entire species would not have survived. If a woman thinks that emotional coffee-party conversations and raising children and running a household are enough, she is wrong. Anyone who cannot maintain attractiveness and sex is not capable of marriage and family.
Most of the frustration in relationships arises when the partner is too boring/lifeless, or too dysfunctional or too evil. There is no getting around it with some phrase from the internet. If you have been paying attention, you will have understood that popular fictional characters from novels and films do not exhibit any of the three characteristics. That is why we like these characters so much.
Anyone who makes an effort to be alive, to become more interesting and more entertaining; anyone who makes an effort to avoid or correct dysfunction in themselves, and anyone who does not drift into evil despite the evil structures in the world, roughly speaking, deserves the label “of high value”.
If you only look at beauty, youth, money and status, you too often end up with a questionable partner who you cannot trust.
Friends
Another classic is the discussion about whether a man can really be friends with a woman. Some influencers gossip that this only works if the woman is unattractive. But that is not true.
If the man and the woman belong to the lifeless/boring category, no real friendship will develop. This also applies to two men or two women.
If a man thinks the woman has nothing to offer other than youth and beauty, then only a relationship seems tempting. But this would be a hollow relationship.
A lively man and a lively woman can very well have a real friendship and thus possess something that is far too rare. This does not necessarily have to develop into a relationship, but it can.
Friendships between men and women require honesty.
It does not do a man much good to pretend to be friends with the woman if he only wants sex and otherwise thinks the woman is boring. You can pretend to be a good listener, help with assembling furniture and offer emotional support, but you are usually wasting your time. Women, on the other hand, must not communicate ambiguously and vaguely and thus use men as free furniture movers and complaint boxes.
Chaos
Our societies are so unstable that some men and women pose a danger.
Influencers often manipulatively preach group dynamics and prejudices. Almost everything a woman can do to a man, a man can do to a man. And vice versa. Being exploited, being ripped off, getting into trouble, etc.
Most influencers are amateurs and rip-off artists. They think it is easiest to milk the “betas”, i.e. the inexperienced people. If people follow the advice of the influencers, new frustrations or mainly loneliness result.
Women are told that they “don’t need men”. If they are over 30 and successful in their careers, they expect their dream prince of their age bracket or older. But the supposed princes then chase the 20-year-olds; mainly young women who have little money. But even for these men, the situation is usually not fair. If they allow themselves to be persuaded to get married, they may end up with a woman who is about to get divorced and wants to cash in, or who is no longer making any effort to stay slim and healthy.
Men today would prefer to have five sex partners at the same time. They like to lie about looking for a serious relationship, but immediately run away if the woman actually wants to take the next step in a relationship. The men have heard from the red pill influencers on the Internet that it is simply stupid to enter into a real relationship. You have to ghost the women immediately.
If the women have had a certain number of sex partners after a few years without being married, they are dismissed as terrible. The men, however, consider themselves great, even if they themselves have had several partners.
If a more attractive woman in her 20s has fun with multiple men, she is generally considered a “hoe” and “hypergamous”. Of course, there are unstable women who cause a lot of chaos (especially under the influence of alcohol). But other women simply don’t want to get involved with a lifeless bore for a long time, or risk getting involved with someone malicious. It is very important to have fun in life. Men actually know that too.
Influencers are mostly concerned with telling their target audience what they want to hear.
Stay safe.
